


A Treasure Chest of Amandas

by mulhdrv



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, amanda young doesn't keep a journal but she writes on anything she can write on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28645128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mulhdrv/pseuds/mulhdrv
Summary: somebody finds a box filled with little notes written by Amanda Young to herself.a.k.a as a little continuation to my previous work.
Relationships: Amanda Young / Lawrence Gordon, Lawrence Gordon & Amanda Young
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9
Collections: The Misadventures of Amanda Young





	A Treasure Chest of Amandas

**Author's Note:**

> the notes are not really in a chronological order. also it's a bit of a part two to my previous work 'A Mess He Don't Wanna Clean Up"
> 
> (i wrote this at 2 am so it's just messy scribbling)

[ On a piece of tissue paper; no date ]

_Today I found a perfectly healthy flower blooming from across the street of [location redacted]. A bit ironic considering the place across where this flower grew, housed many painful and gruesome deaths of ~~people who are not innocent~~ flawed people. Deaths that still haunt me no matter how much ‘ ~~John’~~ tries to reassure me that they very much deserved the tests brought upon them. Perhaps he was right. Maybe I did deserve what happened to me. But what about the others? ~~Actually I don’t think any of us deserved it. Adam, I’m so sorry.~~_

[ A torn paper from a sketchpad; 2005 ]

_I watched him moved around, doing what John had told him to do. Lawrence Gordon. Handsome. Smart. A high-class doctor. A married man. ~~Another man I wished who could love me.~~ Another man who looked like he could ruin me._

[ Torn paper with a stain (maybe coffee); 2005 ]

_The doctor smiled at me today. A few days ago we argued, but today he smiled. I made him smile. I think. I feel happy. I’ve never felt this happy. ~~I think I’m beginning to fall in love.~~ Amanda snap out of it, he is off-limits. _

_He also conversed with Sebastian today. They looked really close. With their blond hair, I’m sure people will think they’re father & son. ~~I just want to start a family with him. Is it too much to ask for?~~_

[ A paper torn from a 2003 planner; 2005 ]

_I kissed him. He kissed me back. We were in his car. I felt like a teenager again. I waved him goodbye after he dropped me off outside the [location redacted] and drove off. He was going back home to his wife and daughter._

_Oh God…_

[ Pink post-it note; 2005 ] 

_I LOVE HIM. I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM. I don’t care anymore._

[ Tissue paper (almost not illegible, it suffered from liquid, the ink is blotched); 2005 ]

_He couldn’t love me back. He couldn’t love me back. He couldn’t love me back. He couldn’t love me back. He couldn’t love me back. He couldn’t love me back. He couldn’t love me back. ~~Am I that hard to love?~~_

[ A post-it; 2005 ]

_Lawrence said he loves me. I slapped him. I kissed him. I slapped him again. I cried in his arms while he repeatedly told me that he loves me. The divorce papers are signed, he said. He couldn’t wait to run with me outside the city he said. To start a new life with me and Seb._

_A new life, that’s all I want._

[ A piece of paper, cut cleanly; 2005 ]

_The flower across the place wilted. I was sad to see it go. But I’d like to think it’s in a better place now. Although today, I saw a white dove. I've been dreaming of doves for the past few weeks and I had the sudden urge to catch it and hold it close to me. I couldn’t hold it though because I couldn’t reach it. It flew too high above me and far away it went. But it doesn’t matter. At least I finally saw a real dove._

_-Mandy_

**Author's Note:**

> HDAHDBASHDJABSDASDAISHDJK <3


End file.
